(no subject)
Oct. 24th, 2005 05:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
korilianAgonized over posting this, cuz I'm a very private person really (hey, let's start a livejournal!), but since this really is the big thing going on with me right now, I figured it might feel good to put on on paper (I could print it okay! Then it would be on paper!).
My grandpa died last week and I just came back from the cremation about an hour ago. Feeling kinda ambiguous about the whole situation, since he made a respectable age and really had been going downhill for years, especially last year and I really think he'd had enough already. After several days in the hospital he went really quietly, with the whole family there, so I kinda have peace with that.
Still this weekend especially was kind of an emotional sucker punch, with me and my cousins and sister switching from rough-housing, joking and reliving fond memories to breaking down on each others shoulders.
And my eyes feel like they're chronically puffy.
I rushed across the country last week after a late call from my sister and got to the hospital with an hour to spare, only returning now. And of course my room is a mess! We're talking stray clothes on the couch, deodorant bottles and other crap I knocked over in my hurry to get out the door, on the floor. Food in my fridge becoming sentient lifeforms in their own right. And now it's diner time, but before I can cook I'll have to do the dishes I've left to stew for a whole week. Kinda took the edge of with an opened! pack of rice pudding that I found to my astounishment, to be not only not spoiled, but also still tasty...
I'll really miss him. He wasn't an easy man per se, especially these last years, though that was mostly because of the brain aneurysm he suffered. But he was an insufferable tease and great company and was loved. Certainly by his grandchildren.
My grandpa died last week and I just came back from the cremation about an hour ago. Feeling kinda ambiguous about the whole situation, since he made a respectable age and really had been going downhill for years, especially last year and I really think he'd had enough already. After several days in the hospital he went really quietly, with the whole family there, so I kinda have peace with that.
Still this weekend especially was kind of an emotional sucker punch, with me and my cousins and sister switching from rough-housing, joking and reliving fond memories to breaking down on each others shoulders.
And my eyes feel like they're chronically puffy.
I rushed across the country last week after a late call from my sister and got to the hospital with an hour to spare, only returning now. And of course my room is a mess! We're talking stray clothes on the couch, deodorant bottles and other crap I knocked over in my hurry to get out the door, on the floor. Food in my fridge becoming sentient lifeforms in their own right. And now it's diner time, but before I can cook I'll have to do the dishes I've left to stew for a whole week. Kinda took the edge of with an opened! pack of rice pudding that I found to my astounishment, to be not only not spoiled, but also still tasty...
I'll really miss him. He wasn't an easy man per se, especially these last years, though that was mostly because of the brain aneurysm he suffered. But he was an insufferable tease and great company and was loved. Certainly by his grandchildren.
