korilian: (Default)
Fanfic tropes I hate or just dislike with a fiery passion

Song fic: Like Nansi_Alexander so eloquently said in this awesome badfic entry; "It is also NOT a song fic, even though there are some song lyrics here, but that is not because they are like, SINGING, it is because they are about Best Friends which is what John and Rodney are, only not exactly, because they are totally soul mates only I couldn't find a song about soul mates so I had to use this one, which kind of sucks, only not because I guess they're friends too."
That sums it up quite nicely.

Poetry fic: There are only two characters in my fandoms I can easily buy writing poetry. Spike and Sheppard!
...Sheppard you say? Look it's obvious. He's totally, secretly a fourteen year old goth girl, who can't talk about his feelings, so he writes these great angsty poems in his secret diary, that no one ever gets to read, except maybe Rodney when they're both drunk. Only Rodney totally  mocks him for it, so then John has to listen to black sabbath and cut himself... What? That could totally happen!

But really, I'll belief a lot if you sell it right. And If you do insist on having your characters act like beatniks, just tell us they're doing it. There's no need to post the actual poems, because I sure as hell ain't gonna read them (but I will concede I'm biased, cuz  well... I just don't care for poetry)

The What if Series rewrites: This trope I don't really despise as such. It just keeps disappointing me in crushing ways. Usually the authors have a really promising plot bunny. Adam Pierson is found to be immortal and send to Sunnydale to help the slayer! Rodney is a fucked up Sentinel oh noes! Sheppard can whistle the national anthem through his nose!
The fun in this trope is to see how things will turn out now, with these radically different characters and backgrounds. And again and again the answer is... exactly the same fucking way.  For some reason the authors never seem brave enough to stop slavishly following the episode plots. The worst of these offenders even seem to be copying lines directly from transcripts!
Nothing changes. Their cool revamped characters hardly make a difference, even when they clearly should. And it pisses me off, because the little bits of original fiction that do sneak in there tend to be awesome.

Seriously, If I want to read a what if story where nothing fucking changes, I'll just pick my Wicked Willow series of the shelf.
korilian: (Default)

Quite possibly I'm over thinking this, because the Stargate seems to work pretty much however the writers need it to work. This goes for most alien tech actually...

Point and case 1: Jumpers must uncloak before entering a wormhole. 
From watching the show it's pretty clear the jumpers can cloak, right up to the point where they go through the gate. Now maybe wormhole travel just messes with the system a little, or hell, I don't know. You can't pull in the drive pods while cloaked or something silly. I'm inclined to belief the whole uncloaking jumper thing was invented so that bad guy's can take exiting potshots at them though.

Point and case 2: All aliens had English lessons in ground school.
Why oh why do the aliens speak English?!? Is there some kind of translation gizmo build into the gate? But then why don't ALL aliens speak English?!? What the hell is the point of Daniel fricking Jackson anyway? Why can Colonel Caldwell and his minions who NEVER travel through any Pegasus gate, understand Teyla and Ronon? Could they understand aliens who haven't traveled to the gate to Atlantis?

Point and case 3: To dial home you need to know the point of origin.
...er No. That's what they said in the movie, but if that was the case then you wouldn't be able to dial out if you don't know what planet you are on (The hive), let alone use the same home dialing sequence every time. Supposedly the stargate works by dialing points between location A and B. So if Location B is completely changes, you'd need a new sequence. They obviously ditched that in favour of a more easy to use phone number system in the series though. So again, what is the point of DANIEL JACKSON?!?

Point and case 4: If you leave Atlantis during the day, it'll still be day when you arive on the next planet.
This I actually find rather clever, because if you were an ancient and you could put the gate anywhere you wanted on the fricking planet, of course you'd make sure there wouldn't be a lot of gate lag. I wonder if they divided the gates amongst hemisphere's too. When half the planets have summer, the other half has winter. It sure would make year round trade convenient.

Okay I'm done.

korilian: (Default)
I know there's already been a lot of discussion on LJ about critical reviewing.

I've always been firmly in the camp that a critical review can be a great writers tool. I welcome critical reviews (not that I write a lot, but more on that later) and when I get critical, I try very hard to give tips and explain what didn't really work, without being mean (even if sometimes I just want to bash my head through the computer screen to put me out of my misery).

korilian: (Default)
But once more on the subject of porn in fandom or more specifically: Safe sex. Do they? Don't they? Should they?

Arguably fanfic is a great source of information for teen fan girls and boys and I feel we do have a very tiny duty to show them how it's done (sex, not the writing... well, maybe sometimes). Let's face it, there are a lot of stories out there that leave me dreading the state of sex ed. I actually have a vague recollection from a highschool biology class that you should always use a condom during anal sex, because that's just asking for all kinds of germs and microbes to get into places where they shouldn't be, but feel free to set me straight on that one.

Buffy )
I-man )

So, unless you're writing highlander, be safe. And if your writing LOTR, please let your damn elf catch something embarrassing from their rouge human lover! It'll be hilarious! 


korilian: (Default)

March 2010

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